This is why National cant have nice things: Simon Bridges, Jamie- Lee Ross and knowing when to keep your mouth closed

You had just one job Simon! One job!

It’s clear from recent media panic (see here, here, here and here) that there are a lot of questions are still to be answered in the strange and twisted saga that I am dubbing the Simon Bridges travel expenses leaker scandal investigation dumpster fire train wreck thingy.

Some of these important questions include asking if Jamie-Lee Ross really is the leaker (because the report, written by Bridges legal counsel, is far from conclusive and takes great pains to say so), if he did leak why did he do it, also does he really have a secret recording of Simon Bridges talking about fiddling the books on donations to National, but if it was not Lee-Ross then who, and just how far will this thing actually go?

But the first question of questions that really needs to be asked at this point is: holly f**k what the hell is that thing standing next to Simon Bridges, and where's Paula Bennett?

What in Kraffs divine name is that heavily spray tanned creature, with the super-gelled hair, glowering beside Simon as if trying to kill the assembled media with its withering death stare?

Is a it a web toed priestess of Dagon the fish god or has Simon gotten some sort of hyper intense Jersey Shore type body guard? I mean the way whatever it is is dressed it’s clear that inside that tightly controlled hair, ear ring and tasteless patterned shirt combination is something, seething in rage juices, trying to get out and run amok in the room, tearing out reporters throats, knocking over microphones and bathe in the blood of its hated enemies.

However the reality at this point is that it wont matter one bit who, or what, is escorting Simon to his press conferences these days because I think such a dangerously unscripted occasion like a press conference is not the place for Bridges to opening his mouth or exercising his thought glands in any way shape or form.

Lets take it from the top. 

First there is the minor matter of Bridges travel expenses being leaked to the media. Not the worst thing to happen and less the occasion to say anything in particular than just trying to spin it up as Bridges doing his job by getting out among the people. Sure it cost $81,000 but thats what ministerial limos are for and had Bridges said he would hire a mini-van for him and his team next time no one would have said anything further and that would have been that.

But noooo; Simon has to call a press conference then go in and shoot his mouth off, demand an investigation, drag the speaker in and set in motion this whole sad carnival of mayhem and mishaps.

Then when someone (possibly the actual leaker) texts the Police and pleads temporary insanity or being off their meds, the speaker backs away, calls off the parliamentary hounds and gives Bridges the perfect opportunity to deal with this quietly in house, away from scrutiny and with no further fuss or mess.

But noooooooooo; Bridges has to call another press conference and unbelievably double down on the need to find the leaker and commissions a private investigation into the matter, using his lawyer of all people, to dig deeper into the woodpile and see what they would uncover.

And at this point any sane person in the leaders seat would start to realize how close to the edge this is getting, there were warning signs in the media and elsewhere that texts to the Police citing mental health concerns from the so called leaker is a perfect time to just dial it down a bit and get the focus back on the coalition government, things like rising gas prices or whats happening on the Batchelor.

But nooooooooooooooooooooo; Simon then calls another press conference to announce that Jamie-Lee Ross is going on medical leave and instead of stopping at about the 15 second mark when he has said what was needed to be said he inexplicably and unbelievably lurched onwards by saying that this had nothing to do with the search for the leaker and this whole things was just a coincidence.

I watched the video of that press conference and I had my head in my hands by the end of it because Bridges first statement need not have been followed by the second and the moment he said it I knew this was not going to end well. Why would you tag on that supposedly unrelated second comment in a press conference discussing the first? I mean what was Simon thinking?

Yet even at this point there was still time to pull back, to steer the whole flaming fandango away from the abyss and did Simon Bridges, leader of the National party, do such a thing?

Pause for a moment, take a nice deep breath and say it with me now people.

BUT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And let’s be crystal clear about things here. It’s not about Jamie-Lee Ross being the leaker, or not (because the evidence remains inconclusive); it’s not about National getting to the bottom of this or even Bridges being seen to do the right thing as leader.

This whole mess, which has now exploded into the public in a torrent of political diarrhea, came about from forcing Ross into a corner by publicly announcing the results of the leaker inquiry, thus bringing the hammer down in the most painful of ways and leaving him with no option to do what he did and air even more of the party's dirty laundry in public.

So where to now?

Well depending on the various takes in the media we can expect Simon Bridges to be rolled this week, except we can’t because some people are clearly out of their minds if they think that this will precipitate a leadership coup that fast.

As of yesterday Judith Collins had already swung in behind Bridges, even if only to distance herself from the fall out of her previous supporter, Lee-Ross, melting down in public, and done so in the most passive aggressive fashion by stating that she supports Simon but had Lee-Ross been under her control she would have reigned him in long ago.

Slightly more saner minds have realised that if National tries to roll Bridges it will open itself up to all of the same drama and chaos that Labour had for its nine miserable years in opposition, as it chopped and changed leaders to suit the dynamics of its own internal rivalries rather than its own unity as a party, and that’s a path I think even National is not willing to tread, yet.

What is clear is that Ross has gone all in on this but even then it might not be enough to make the nut as you can bet your bottom dollar that the National leadership will have assembled a political hit team as of last night to neutralize Jamie-Lee by bringing as much pressure to bear on him as possible so he will just shut up and take what’s coming, secret recording or otherwise, rather than run about in public like a chicken with its head cut off and further damaging the one thing that National has going for it at this time: its rock solid party polling.

Fact is that while Bridges has now crippled his chances to lead National into the next election the Party will not be willing to take action in the short term because it would do far more damage than good for National Inc. 

National usually deals with its messes in-house rather than in public so I think we can kiss goodbye to the rather brief period of political glasnost that National had been going through and expect that door to start closing, as those old hair trigger reflexes, from when National was a scandal plagued government, kick back in and mouths start shutting like open minds at an Exclusive Brethren Sunday school class.

What is guaranteed is that Bridges will have to act and, somewhat ironically, do so publicly. Ross has drawn a line in the school yard sand, and before all the students dared Bridges to cross it. 

And Bridges will have to cross that Rubicon or face both public and internal flack as National is exposed as a house divided (again) if he does not deal with it which, interestingly, explains his comments a few weeks back about National repealing the Waka jumping bill but not ruling out using it because this is just such a situation where it could be used to shut Jamie-Lee Ross down as quickly as possible without having to wait two years until the next election.

Still that’s cold comfort for Bridges and National in general as this now gives the Coalition government a free pass for however many months it takes to fix this mess and puts all the pressure on Simon Bridges as he must now be starting to feel like Bill English once did as sharks like Judith Collins circle ominously while more silent predators, like Amy Adams, lurk in the shadows and the whole debate about “who will rule National” starts again in earnest.

However one thing is for certain and that’s Simon Bridges needs to stop holding press conferences to speak whatever is on his mind and then inadvertently air Nationals dirty laundry in public because this is the very dynamic which gave John Key such an easy ride in his time as PM as then it was Labour, Andrew Little and all the others, too busy bickering among themselves, to spend much time holding Key’s government to account, while now Jacinda & Co can sail through their own troubles knowing that National is too disorganized to be an effective opposition.

So in summation Bridges could not keep his mouth closed, now Jamie Ross can not keep his mouth closed and so National gets all the negative publicity it can handle while Winston and Jacinda watch and laugh. 

This is why National cant have nice things.

Update - Ross has quit and left a trail of destruction and various accusations (see link) in his wake and with such a fast moving story its better to wait a day or so before seeing what comes out in the wash before reporting further but suffice it to say this is not over yet.



NOTE - long term readers with good memories may remember that I wrote a post with a similar title in 2017 about a similar situation in Labour with Andrew Little, Willie Jackson and Poto Williams.