A certain disposition prevailing in the wind...

Its been over a week since the murder of 50 Kiwis in Christchurch and its taken me this long to feel comfortable to blog about it.

Yeah, I know, and besides with everyone else talking about it what was I going to add to the debate right when things were right there, right now? Probably not a lot.

Also, to be honest, I was not in the mood. I spent a chunk of Friday afternoon on the 15th messaging my daughter who was trapped in a closet in her school in Christchurch (as it was just across the park from the mosque there), dealing with a panicked teen who was worried about getting shot.

Suffice it to say feelings were high.

Then on the Saturday morning as I drove down hill past the local mosque where I live in Wellington there is a police officer with a automatic rifle standing outside of it, and there was one for most of the week.

Sunday I attend the vigil at the basis reserve and watch as it fills up to capacity and then some. While outside rather too smug looking young socialists, are pushing through the crowds and are pasting up "fight fascism" posters everywhere. The speeches inside reflect the shock, grief and some minor strains of anger at the situation but overall its clear that people have come together.

By Monday morning work is in chaos as more than a few people where I work have been pulled out to be part of the various crisis teams which have sprung up in sections of government. Several of my friends are pulling long shifts in PNHQ doing things and already there is the initial trickle of OIA requests, which will soon turn into a flood, all of them asking about "white supremacy".

In the media the name of the killer is now scrubbed from the narrative and copies of the his live streamed video and manifesto are being hunted down and erased. Articles are springing up discussing every aspect and detail of the situation but the tone is still one of shock but there is also a rising narrative of coming together and being stronger, of doing the exact opposite of what the killer wanted to happen.

As the days go back I slowly sink back into my work but I am now starting to see whats going on around me, the larger picture coming into focus and I like what I see because rather than spend all of this post talking about this tragedy and its consequences in minute detail I want to discuss the larger shift that happened in the last seven days by starting with the hour immediately preceding the attacks.

Friday 15 March, 12.00 Pm (approx)

Its a hot, late summer day and Q and I are sitting on the steps of the Court of Appeal watching the large crowd of school children filling the lawn of Parliament as we eat our lunch.

Overall the mood of the protesters is one that only young people can truly have, there is a palpable mood of doing something "naughty" mixed in with with a righteous generational anger at what they see as an issue ignored and its reflected on the placards of the protesters who are streaming past us.

School uniforms mixed in with face paint, cell phones and clusters of youth, some clutching coffees from the local coffee container up the street, are making themselves heard in the most positive of ways.

Q and I cant hear the people speaking to the crowd very well but its clear from the cheers and, on occasion, boos where the speakers are going. Over the roar of the crickets and traffic I catch certain phrases and words but its obvious that the politicians that are speaking in front of the crowd are not really getting it. Speeches go on to long, and at one point I can hear James Shaw telling the crowd about the "big concrete building" behind him and I am reminded of the large age gap between Shaw and most in the crowd (and myself) and realize that its two different political words coming face to face and having little in common. Shaw being a career politician with policy and polls to worry about and the protesting youth just wanting something to be done before they have to swim to school.

Then as things head towards One Pm the crowds start to filter away, even as the politicians continue to blather, as the protesters loose interest. They did not take the day off school, getting away from teachers and adults in general, raise the flag of generational protest to end up in front of Parliament being spoken to by a bunch of MPs as if they were back in school!

I'm thrilled by what I am seeing, from on the steps of the Appeal Court, lunch now eaten and just enjoying the whiffs of the carnival mood that has been emanating from the kids as they now head out of and away from parliament.

Its highly symbolic, they did not come to the seat of government to ask, they came to tell, they came (as they did across NZ) not as supplicants but with a message; "we are the future, not you. This is our issue now. You failed to deal with it, now its our turn!".

For me, I am watching the future come to life right before my eyes and my own faded idealism about wanting to make the world a better place feels invigorated by this youthful display of piss and vinegar, and its clear that if my own generation, now holding the levers of power, does not gets it act together then the next generation will remove them and do it themselves.

Q, slightly more jaded than I, is not so enthusiastic and makes a joke about the failed Children's Crusade from the 13th century. I'm not amused and its one of the few times I chide him for his attitude. Its not "politics as we know it" I tell him, when was the last time he bunked school to protest, I ask him. I never did and neither did he (I did bunk a lot of school but not to protest. My own protesting only started when I was at university). A point he concedes as we part ways and head back to our respective places of work.

Friday 15 March, 3.00 Pm (approx)

My Daughter is messaging me on snapchat, sending me pictures of her feet as her and a friend huddle in a closet as their entire school in Christchurch is now in lock down. She is scared and upset but also calm, she just wants to go home.

She attended the protests in Christchurch earlier in the day and now is facing this. Rumors are swirling, battery life on her phone is running low and her link with the world is about to go dark. I tell her I love her and that things are in hand, she just has to sit tight and she will be out of there soon and then sign off.

Two and a half hours later she messages me; its over, shes out and free to go home.

By now the media is swirling with stories and after reading a  few I pack it in. I'm not going to learn anything there. I studied terrorism and counterinsurgency for my Masters, spent five years dealing with that and related risks at Immigration and I already know what I have seen. With the exception of the 50 souls killed and the others wounded on this day the remaining details are almost irrelevant. Terrorism has finally come to NZ.

But unlike the US and other nations in the wake of their own terrorist attacks, where fear, anger and decent into the bottomless hole that is national self doubt that those attacks brought on, New Zealand has come together and in one clear voice said no to the message behind these acts, said no to racism and its various subcategories and instead simple taken action to deal with the matter and enable those who need to grieve to grieve and those who need to heal to heal and started doing what needs to be done to to deal with the problem.

The attacks in Christchurch are horrific and will not be easily forgotten but I'm proud of this country for the way its come together to deal with this, say no to the message the killer was hoping to promote.

I'm also proud at the youth of this country who shortly before the attacks were making their voice felt in the most positive of ways and showing that there is a reason to hope for a better future because they are have plans how to make it.

The killer wanted to divide but their is little fertile ground in Aotearoa for what he was saying and its clear that the time of people who have such messages (be they overt or coded) is over. The paradigm has shifted and the mood of this country with it.

A week later, laws removing the weapons used from public life have been enacted and every effort has been made to heal and support. We will not be launching any punitive invasions of Australia in retaliation for whats happened nor closing our borders but instead, like Gallipoli, have experienced one of those moments in a nations life which help to define and test its national character and we have not been found wanting.

Its deeply and sadly ironic that March 15th should have contained two of the most defining moments in this generation yet perhaps in a cosmic sense that's how needed to happen. To be honest though I would have preferred if people had not been shot for this to have come to pass.

National character is important and as I saw at the Basin reserve, the national character of this country is one of many colors and creeds, of many peoples but of one nation, of Muslims, Pakeha, Maori, Asian and many others but we all spoke with one single voice and I like this multi ethnic, tolerant yet strong society I see before me.

I love you New Zealand.

Kia Kaha.


NOTE: The title of this post is taken from the lyrics of the Jamiroquai song Emergency on Planet Earth.